In our parashah, we encounter the story of the ketonet passim, the “coat of many colors” (in the King James translation) that Jacob made for Joseph, the garment that brought about the rift between Joseph and his brothers — a rift that led let to tremendous violence. Many years later, Meir Ariel (a 20th c. Israeli singer-songwriter) celebrated the multiplicity and difference within the Jewish people using that coat of many colors: “Each swatch [of color] touches me, each one wants to peel off my skin.”
Ariel, in a double reversal, reminds us that difference can create distance, but it does not have to do so. The secret is to let otherness touch us, make us tremble. And an even greater challenge is not to leave the other behind.
When we are able to look carefully at our Shabbat and Hanukkah lights, we can take note of the all the shades within the fire and to think with them: Whom have we forgotten? What lights in our lives have been left behind? And we can remind ourselves to pick up the phone, make contact, get together. And to remember that difference can lead to hatred, but it can also be the basis for our journey of love.